Wow, I"m back after six years! SIX years! where does the time go...So much has happened.
But tonight I just saw the movie, Brooklyn. Besides the fact that Brooklyn was my home for many years, and that i think of living there again...this movie brought up all kinds of thoughts and feelings about what 'home' means, the importance of family, and longing for both.
Here's what it inspired:
When you're a kid you think you're not important. You're inconsequential to the adults, who are very pre-occupied. You get the impression that life really begins when you grow up. At least that's how it was in my family I got the impression that family was not what's really important, that the world out there was where it was at...And so we four kids scattered to the wind. I moved 3,000 miles away for 20 years and barely looked back.
Now 30+ years later I see it so differently and feel grief and longing for the family that wasn't...the family that scattered, that didn't know how to treasure each other, didn't know how to treat each other with love...and still doesn't.
In "Brooklyn" the protagonist is so heart-broken to leave her native Ireland...it's always so surprising to me when people have close, fond feelings about their home and family. It's so unfamiliar to me...for many years, decades, i didn't even think that was possible. And then I hated hearing about happy families; it made me feel so bitter and sad. Now i'm more in touch with the heartbreak of it all...Maybe, in part, because i've lost so much lately...In the last three years, these deaths have occurred: Gerald (middle bother), then my dad (beloved Jack), then my best friend, my beloved Tasha.
Ok, it's late now...have to go to bed. hopefully i'll be back again before another 6 years flies by!
Here's what it inspired:
When you're a kid you think you're not important. You're inconsequential to the adults, who are very pre-occupied. You get the impression that life really begins when you grow up. At least that's how it was in my family I got the impression that family was not what's really important, that the world out there was where it was at...And so we four kids scattered to the wind. I moved 3,000 miles away for 20 years and barely looked back.
Now 30+ years later I see it so differently and feel grief and longing for the family that wasn't...the family that scattered, that didn't know how to treasure each other, didn't know how to treat each other with love...and still doesn't.
In "Brooklyn" the protagonist is so heart-broken to leave her native Ireland...it's always so surprising to me when people have close, fond feelings about their home and family. It's so unfamiliar to me...for many years, decades, i didn't even think that was possible. And then I hated hearing about happy families; it made me feel so bitter and sad. Now i'm more in touch with the heartbreak of it all...Maybe, in part, because i've lost so much lately...In the last three years, these deaths have occurred: Gerald (middle bother), then my dad (beloved Jack), then my best friend, my beloved Tasha.
Ok, it's late now...have to go to bed. hopefully i'll be back again before another 6 years flies by!
No comments:
Post a Comment